it wasn't lemon gatorade
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
