I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
