i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
they're like a gay fantastic four
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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