Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
