So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
