Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
