Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
