Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
