I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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