I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
