Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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