I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
