There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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