he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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