Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
