what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
