I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
