U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
