Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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