he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
