Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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