we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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