soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
im holly from the hills drunk
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize