It's Friday. Sex?
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
