Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
