do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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