I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
