Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
we're so committed to being not committed
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
