i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
My bed smells like the plague
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
