Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
