I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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