We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
