Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize