oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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