Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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