spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
