Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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