I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
