So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
