Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
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