Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
