She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
