Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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