Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize