Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
