No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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