I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
