It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
