Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
