one two three fourrrrnication!
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize