it hurts more in the daytime
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
soo... how was my night?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
