During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
