yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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