I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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