I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
