Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
