u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
