I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
